That's right, I've found that chauffeuring them around is like these sacred little moments where I find out things and we talk without interruptions and I listen to their music and get to know their friends and all of the extra stuff that goes on in their teenage world. Who would have guessed!
So I needed it....and so it began, this crazy adventure of starting a business....In My House! I hadn't worked full time in 14 years. When I left floral design, I left it for my family. Now I was going back to it...for my family. Because it didn't take me too long after the kids hit double digits, to figure out that teenagers cost more money and it was a pay cheque that I needed, but even pay cheques have their own price tag. How do you have your cake and eat it too? I wanted to work. I needed to work. I had this inner craving to create again the way I used to. And I wanted it all...on my own terms. Who even dares ask for that! It seemed too much but I prayed for it anyway...this crazy wish list of what I wanted and needed most.
That was three years ago, and in that time, I have learned more lessons about God's faithfulness and grace to me than in any other space of my life. I have worked hard. And I'm not gonna lie, the first two years....I feel like I cried almost every day even though I didn't. There were days when I was overwhelmed with gratefulness because I had forgotten how wonderful it was to create with these gorgeous flowers and I would just smell them and touch them and thank God that I was a florist! And then there were days that I thought I'd never make it. Days where I was discouraged and didn't know what my next step was supposed to be or how to get more clients or how to pay the bills. There were days where I wanted to give up and just go work at Starbucks. (Which isn't a bad thing:) I've done that too and it was a great time in my life and I loved it and I do love me a latte but this door had opened for me and I was trying my hardest to keep it open. Trying my best to figure out what it was supposed to look like and how.
My insecurities surfaced thick and escalated with each turn as I struggled to create my own vision instead of trying to fit into others. I made some big mistakes. I lost money when I really needed to make money. I learned how to operate the business on a dime. It was stressful and crazy and I never would have made it I'm sure, without the love and support of my family and friends and growing number of clients that never stopped encouraging me.
And right now, as I look back on this great wedding rush from May until now, I can't help but wanna hug each and every one of my dear clients...my heart is so grateful for the opportunity and trust given to me to play a small part in the most important of days. I'm so glad I didn't give in to my fears of not making it and give up a part of me that brings me so much joy. Thank you so much. My heart is full.
